Why I never say no.
Unless I’m giving a command to my dog or there is a violent situation, I never say no.
In kinesiology we muscle test for stress in the body to a statement. If there is little stress the muscle will hold when we put pressure on it. If there is stress the muscle will weaken and give way when we put pressure on it. The same happens if a client says “yes” or “no”.
If I muscle test “yes” the muscle will hold strong if I muscle test “no” it will give way. Why? Because yes makes us feel strong and no makes us feel powerless. This has been shown over and over again, not just by me but by anyone doing muscle testing.
“No” puts your body under stress. I don’t say no.
No shuts down creativity, it is a dead-end word. I don’t live in a dead-end world.
So what do I do?
I create a different reply that opens up possibilities.
If someone wants me to do something and I’m busy I’ll reply with honesty “I’m doing something at the moment that takes priority, is there another time or someone else who can assist you”?
A good example is recently my partner suggested we take camper vans onto the property to add another income stream. Personally, I didn’t think this would work but I don’t want to shut her down so I said: “that is a useful suggestion, can we talk it through on what we would have to do to be ready to have campers on our property”. Once we had talked through the idea I could see it was doable but it would take a bit of work to have such heavy vehicles coming up and down our drive. We shelved this idea for now but it was useful to explore and keep our options open.
Not saying no leaves an amazing space to explore and find other alternatives – and keeps you in a strong place within your body
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