Why won’t I change?
April 23, 2018

There is an old prayer that is used around the 12 step program rooms:


I remember thinking “if all it took was courage to change, I could change in an instant” I certainly have enough courage, in face I constantly challenge myself to face and do new things so that I’m constantly making new neuro-pathways, reinforcing my, reinforcing my ability to flow and not get stuck in the “concrete” of a mind that is getting older.

I use my courage to face my fears, to talk myself into doing things that challenge myself on almost a daily basis. I don’t think I’m scared of fear, I don’t think I’m scared to change.

So if it’s not courage – why won’t I change?

Like any professional medical modality, kinesiology has a protocol.  After the initial set-up of a session, the first question a practitioner asks is “is this person 100% willing to release the need for the problem?”

Needing a problem is the first block to changing direction towards a solution.

So why would I need a problem that causes me pain and prevents me moving forward?

Because that problem is caused by a belief. A belief is something that guides our action, it does not matter if it is based on truth or not. A belief reinforces a value. A value is a standard by which you judge your life.

For example – you could value honesty so your belief might be that the truth is important. The action would be “to tell the truth” and value others who tell the truth. If someone is not honest it will probably irritate or anger you.

A more complex example is from a client of mine earlier this year where her value was that the man should be the breadwinner of the household  (this value was taught to her through her traditional family’s attitudes), the belief was that the wife should earn less than the husband and the action was to hold her income below her partner and sabotage it whenever it came close to exceeding it.

Values are instrumental in helping us make sense of our world and changing one can be very difficult as they are the rocks on which the foundation of our very being stands upon.

Using the above example, in order for my client to move forward, we had to replace the value of the roles in the family unit. This meant challenging what her mother and father, and even our society had taught her. She couldn’t change until she felt safe that her husband was supporting her new way of thinking.

Which brings us to the second reason people would hold onto a problem – because it is safer with what you know than what you don’t know. Our subconscious is not logical and is only past referencing, it has no imagination as such. It bases its decisions on what has occurred historically in our lives and doesn’t see the difference between what we have experienced and when we have witnessed other’s experience (such as watching TV).

And in this is the solution to changing mindset around holding onto a problem.

Our minds don’t know the difference between what is real and what is imaginary, our beliefs don’t know the difference between what is true and what is false information. So if we can convince our minds to think something is true then we can change our beliefs.

This sounds easy but often isn’t. What we see as a problem is really a symptom of our beliefs and values. We need to go to the value and be “100% willing to release the need for the problem?”, to realise that now is the time to change. There are many books, youtube clips and webinars that can give formulas to changs. These work to a limited extent, sometimes we need to go deeper.

This is why I value kinesiology, It goes under the surface and into the beliefs. Uncovering the core values we change how a person feels about themselves and their situation. We begin to look with new eyes on old situations and reinterpret them. The pain starts the subside and a lightness is felt.


If you’d like to have a chat with me on how Kinesiology can assist you to change your life

Just click here


Love, Sharon





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